Well, clearly none of your friends are mortgage lenders or work for credit card companies, banks, investment firms or tech startups otherwise they would realize that this is simply Standard Operating Procedure in the business world.

Hmm, spoilers?

Well, as you can imagine, people finally realize that I am the true protagonist, and it's revealed that I'm dating both Bess and Lillith, being doubly endowed, I need double the babes.

<--looking furtively for lightning bolts, acid, fireballs, etc-->

Antefalken has a very embarrassing moment when Asmodeus requires him to sing his favorite song or Tom and Rupert will be killed permanently, and Antefalken's voice breaks causing him to stumble mentally and fumble the words and the 14 book series ends prematurely halfway through book 2.

Oh, and then Boggy and I get married to fulfill Tom's dying wish that we be partners in love as well as business.

But then, Lillith and Bess get jealous and kill Boggy permanently, and then they start fighting each other, over which one gets me and then...oh..OH...

Uh...sorry need to go...

Edited by user Wednesday, June 4, 2014 1:26:06 AM(UTC)  | Reason: typo

Delusions and Madness!!!!!

See who's not going to get to puff on my pipe any more!!!!

Why on earth would we want weeds? (Other than the obvious one) Humans try to get rid of them.

Realize that the Abyss is rather hot, hotter than any desert on Earth.

However, the real reason there isn't much flora in the Abyss, at large at least, is because it would require animus and thus attract mana...and thus attract demons and others wanting that sort of stuff.

However, there are plenty of plants in the Courts, and various pavilions, like Exador's. Now, most of these areas are more climate controlled, like anti-green houses or something, they are cooled for plant life that the owner wants.

There has never been any native plant life in the Abyss, or if there were, demons ate it. However, Denubian wormwood and similar planets from that universe can and do grow fine in the abyss, where planted....at least until a demon comes and eats it.

The Abyss is relatively hospitable compared to that world...sheesh...nasty place. At least we have Air in the Abyss. 99.999% of the Denubian plane is just nothingness...they call it a "Vacuum" and the Denubians have to use metal balloons to travel around between floating islands that are so far apart that light can take years to travel from one place to the other.

So anyway, Denubian Wormwood can grow on smaller rocks that tend to orbit larger floating islands that actually have air on them.

As far as where my garden is? Have you been talking to Maelen? He's been trying to get a hold of my stash also!

Well, it's only 100 degrees Centrigade or 212 Fahrenheit. I point out that Quicksilver boils at 674.1 degrees Fahrenheit, and 356.7 Centrigrade. So it's perfectly drinkable in even the hottest regions of the Abyss.

Same with Denubian Choco-Coffee(TM) which is probably even less healthy for humans than QuickSilver.

Other liquid refreshments in the Abyss

Aniline (184.4 C)
Brake Fluid (100-200 C)
Butyric Acid (156 C)
Camphor (204 C)
Ethylene Glycol (197)--Sweet and Tasty
Glycerine (290C) --Mmmm....

Iodine boils at 184 C, that's got a bit of a bite, but is great!

And I could go on, but I think I'll just stop with my two favorites: Petroleum at 294 C, Turpentine at 160 C.

Now, of course, if you want something humans like better, then Olive Oil boils at 300 C. So as long as you don't mind frying your throat, you'll find that at least digestible.

What's wrong with my pipe? What did Tom say? Is he talking about me behind my back?

I think it's Astral grease or something that keeps the planes apart. Or maybe it's simply that they all exist in Orthogonal Quantum States and thus can't cross or merge.

We do know that Quantum Field Fluctuations do occur and on occasion planes bifurcate permanently. The key being orthogonality. Once a newly divergent plane establishes a unique rest state, or steady state and has it's own set of propagators (Greens Functions in mathematics), the probabilities of it intersecting with another plane in the exact same rest state are to all intents and purposes nil. Meaning, you'd need too many completely random differences to perfectly align and match for the two planes to align.

In another discussion, somewhere, possibly at Amazon, I talk about the Infinite Worlds of Maybe and why they don't really exist, at least not for very long. It is also tied to why people's memories get foggy over time. It's because all the small differences that spawned the "maybe" worlds get collapsed into a single quantum state. This explains how some people can remember something one way, and others a different way. The people who remember alternatively had more energy invested into one of the collapsed alternate universes and so remember it that way. Whereas many others remember a different path. And still others don't remember for sure.

Excellent point!

See, signing in blood is a completely normal business activity. Nothing untoward about it!

Hmm

I don't know, I have never had any irate fury over any blood contracts. Of course, that's because I write all the contracts myself...

Remember, one of the problems with being a "Certified" Demon is that every few decades you have to go back to law school for both refreshers and new theories in contract law, litigation, and now days, patent and IP laws...

It's a lot like teacher re-certification, only much more expensive.

And if you doubt that I am a certified demon, just ask anyone who has every met me, they will all attest that I am "certifiable."

Well of course, but I didn't mention them because no self respecting demon would want to be associated with "lawyers"


Oooh, please, I may be evil, but I'm not that evil....

You have a degree in law...and a brief span as a lawyer?

How brief of a span? One lifetime's worth? say 60 or 70 years?

That would be forgivable; on the other hand if you kept practicing law for more than 1 or 2 centuries, you'd pretty much need to have a stake rammed through your heart.

Nothing personal, but I'm just looking after the best interest of the rest of the multiverse.

Of course, if you'd also spent time as a "Business Consultant" well, then...things get even worse...

Vulgar creature? Says the guy who spent 3 Centuries being a lawyer?

That level of kettle calling the pot black is almost worthy of my good friend the Demon Prince Darth Cheney. Heartless fiend he is. (Literally--he treats them like batteries: keeps draining them dry and then needing to go out and steal another one). Haven't seen him recently, although I've heard he was promoting wars in some far off plane of existence. Some tidal backwater or other.

All I can say is that vampires really suck.

Although of course, I'll still be bittorrenting the final season of True Blood down to my mirror. Now, I do have to admit, if I were to work with a vampire, it would have to be Pam. She's a class act. Too bad about her maker getting toasted. While I do love me a bit of Fried Swede now and then, he was probably overcooked.

When I was alive? I'm about as alive as I ever get, afraid. Although some mornings I feel more dead than others. Those Damned Denubians, you sometimes get a spiked batch. Although admittedly, you have to drink a lot to find the spiked batches.

Yeah, well good luck collecting them. He is so damn cheap.

I always insist on separate checks when we go out, cause he's always coming up short in the pool.

BTW you should have seen the fight that nasty daughter of his (the loud one) got in with Lillith at the last Council of Evil meeting!

Linda Evans and Joan Collins could learn a thing or two...

Hmmm

That books sounds pretty much like that book Lenamare is trying to open.

Given that you are a lawyer, you are probably of Oorstemothian descent. Have you checked all your treasure vaults? Lenamare's minions stole this book from a dungeon in Ooorstemoth. Maybe it was one of your dungeons?

Just saying you might want to check.